.happiness.

i thought the only happiness i will only get from mummy.but until this day,i can found happiness on my sister-ning.she has her engagement today.em.i meant yesterday.when i saw her tears drop from her cheek.yes,i'm so touched and happy.finally,she found her true love-mr shafuan.this couple made a difference,not only one difference.but a lot.i am totally impressed.i was like the mummy seeing her daughter finally found her true love,this family's happiness,i felt it today.i'm very happy for you two little husband and wife.anyway,keep holding on each other hands no matter how big those obstacles will be.love you all..

extreme low confidence

i hate myself being like this.struggling in my heart..cannot solve it.because it was only me will there for myself.i don't have courage to talk with people.i care how they think of me.i really care of their opinion.i hate this feeling.i hate it

.18th.

never think of to have a birthday like that.i just think i'll have a birthday like usual.dinner with family,watch television..like a normal day.but mine celebration..started on 5th February..in my working place..playschool.it was a surprise party.was touched and happiness all around me..thanks god for blessing me a wonderful birthday.then,is ning ning..my dearest sister..she came to my house.she gave me my favourite cheese cakes..yummy..she know what i want and what i think of..is hard to find a friend like that.i love her.then,the next day..my brother.i never thought that he will arrange a birthday surprise for me.he just used his effort all he have.thanks bro,for letting me have a memorable birtday.thanks ling..you are everywhere with me.thanks god..i'm 18 now..

.missing part.

i cried because of you.i smiled because of you.i still remember.i miss pass.because there were me and you.together we survive together we living.love you mummy..

.mama.

is been a year..i'm sorry mum..for everything that i done or did let down your feeling.but mumy..happy belated..i love you always.like you do.and is 1 year anniversary that you went to happiest place.i'm happy of that..cause i know you will find your true happiness there.if you stay still here,i knew you will really stand so hard in purpose only to protect us.whatever things you done,the first thing that comes on your mind is three of us.i knew your heart is tired.mentally,spiritually and physically lost when you were sick.because you are not happy.when i saw you.my heart was tearing.i told myself that vision that i saw was not true..i told myself..that is only illusion.i scared.i don't know how to tell.i love you mum..and i miss you hardly..

.learning.

sometimes,i will just shut my mouth up because i think the things that we talk about will badly hurt somebody.i knew that feel.but the time we gather up.those things will gradually comes out.because we are imperfect.we are humans.we have different thinking.because of somebody have different thinking then the person will be listed to weirdo.is cruel enough.i will shut my mouth up.i will.cause that action hurt people badly.we are human beings.the same species living together in the earth.i thought we should help and love each other in purpose to fulfilled god's wishes.i just thought.i thought.but that only thought.only.simply thought no added any experience.but eventually we grow up.we know the fact.some fact that we have to know.we have to accept it.this only see how you apply in your lifestyle.i will only ignore it.i will.i don't want to miss down my life.i have my life.no matter how bad or how good is it.i would not blame it.because is my road that i chosen.

.still.

i will be good.not pretend but i trying to be good.in the way i am.although i have know the fact that somewhere is not perfect because human is not perfect.i will hold on what i have learnt in all of you.the bestest thing that i have saw in you guys.i just miss that time.never be polluted,still me.cause i holding extra strong in myself.i will holding on myself.i will depend on myself.i will extra love myself.i will love you all no matter you all still having me in your heart or not.still.