.good side.

when you have a face full of acne or pimples or scars
you will become very humble at that time
because u felt that , am not everybody's face( smooth and pretty)
you tends to be so humble and smile cheerfully
you just left with a cheerful smile :D

is not that bad right,thinks the good side

. coming back.

when shit just happened in your life,
you had 0 idea in reacting it
you left no choice but to stay slumber in reacting it
that's the best reaction isn't it?
eventually,you will know how to react towards it

you will start to feel emotional

you will cry out of nowhere

you just another walking dead that time

you soul slowly drifted away 

you are not you

you lost yourself in everything

it swallowing you bit by bit

this is the truth,the way i experienced.
Even it happened few years ago,but deep down you lost a piece
and you can't gain it back forever

 you found yourself sometimes, but you lost yourself most of the time

this silence surrounds me, thanks God, i became an observer
i've started to realize that i am that self pity all the way long

it's okay to be emotional,but not pitying own self all the time.

Get up and start working.

.you.

when i found that i have love a person more than the person does,am scared
i fear of being unloved
i fear of losing
i fear of all the uncertainties
i fear of being hurt
Ohwell,this is life isn't it? being fear and insecure towards everything
and i shall just give it a try
love while i can
because i might can't at the next second

.:).

and here the journey started.
a little small step to the dream i hv been dreaming of
Seeing the patients,how depress or optimistic are them,i felt the burden, i wanna be there for them and help them
There's no reason for what i like to do and wanted to do,is the burden i felt,is their smile that i wanna see in them
Seeing the companion of family together with the patient,is so precious,this is family,being there for them.
I'm glad i was there before for u mom,and i miss you every second.

.feeling.

the feeling of death
drift in and out of consciousness
sometimes,you won't be able to respond but you know people are there,you hear them talk
eventually....
you just drift away

we left with choices in our lives,
until the last moment,we left with death

i just wanted to stay with you until the last second i had
if i was given another chance
and go back to the past
stay there with you,mom
just there,being there for you
i love you

.mom.

hey,mom. you there? i miss you :(

.2012.

is been a year,never updated my blog yea:)
well,where to start? :S i'm having trouble in sleeping,so yea,here i am,typing and updating some news of mine:)
i'll be starting my new chapter of life in the end of august. i'm not excited,nor nervous.
because i knew that,it will be tough somehow,i just have to survive and do my best there
taking up physiotherapy course is not a sudden decision of mine,is not the last choice either
but, is part of my dream :)
still remember the the volunteer thing,africa thing,saving the world thing? yea,i'm still into it! 100% in it :D
i'll do my best,i am taking it very seriously this time.
because is not just about me,myself,but everybody.how can i influence everyone
leaving take a lot of complication but staying won't be far better than leaving.

Thank you my heavenly father,this is what You have given me <3 p="p">