.emotional.

screw you whoever destroy my family or weakened my family bond..really..
SCREW YOU!!i protect my family..in my behavior..my everything..
really heart broken when i heard those words from the blood related families..
don't judge us if you are not live with us..i really doubt that did i really have all of you by my side..different sides of you all..sorry..i hardly recognize u all..
i thought i have family..so called family..i really..really..heart broken..but..still..
i will still love you all for the sake of GOD and MOM..

.dream.

everyone want to live in their dream..yes..i was..before..but now..
i want to live in everyone dreams..i want to make your dream real..
not a dream anymore..but is your own story..
i wish i could have mine..but mine story is all about all of you outside there..
without you all..i'm nothing..without god..i'm definitely empty..
i wish i could be with you all every time..
love you all,my dear GOD,families and friends..

.abandon.

yes..cannot admit that,everyone felt being abandoned before..EVERYONE..yes..i'm not excluded too..that is the reason why i don't let people feel that i am abandoning you..i felt that feeling before..suffer,upset,can cry out anytime,full of blaming.please..i don't want let anyone of you feel the ABANDON again..

.if,

if the world without war,there won't be connection between countries..
if the world only exist happiness,there not gonna be any gaining..
if there are hope for cancer patients,there not gonna be mercy killing..
if there are love in this world,there are no worrying in this home..
if divorce happened,things gonna change to a better path..
if i was a boy,i can throw all the things and get away..
if i never gone through,i will never be myself now..
if i never start the "if" here,i will never think i am so blessed..

.sorry.

sorry..i can't sleep..is too itchy for me..i tried to sleep..but..still i'm sitting here and typing..

.fast.

i just can't figure out that..wao...is like a sneeze..happened so quick..people changed so fast..even can't figure out the speed..will i be one of them?i scared..but i pray hard that i won't..please..