the time

i knew this is the time

i don't know how would things turn out to be

i just want to give it blast

i want mama and papa be proud of me

i might not be the child whom can bring a trophy back

but i know what i wanted to do in my life

i know, what should i be plan in our future

my future never wanted miss out your attendance in my life

whatever it is,i want you to know,i love you papa and mama

.feeling.

all of the complex feeling..

all of the things had happened..

you do not know how to spill it out in words..

i feel really bad..

you just want to "spill" it in tears..

.exam.

i just wanted to pull this shit off in a nice way.thats all.

.pathetic.

don't ever be pathetic to yourself,

over all the obstacles,

you did great!!

i might think that is not fair for me to go through all this

sometimes,i just felt sorry to myself,because of all the challenges that i have to go through

but,that just a pathetic thought

no one will help you if you don't even want to help yourself

no one will support you,if you don't first support yourself

no one will love you,if you don't first love yourself

i just wanted to say these to myself,"you have done great!"

keep this thinking in your entire life,you won't be live like puzzle

sometimes,we just need someone to comfort

or even a simple "how are you?are you doing fine?"

or even a hug is better.

but,please hug yourself before others do it to you,

it is a better pain relief than others does.

please rub the hair of your love ones

please hug your love ones

please,just let him or her know that,

HE/SHE is precious;))))))

.leukaemia.

that is what exactly scared my ass off.have watched about it in a drama,

it said,when you are a genetic carrier,and you are in depression,and you get sick,there is a big chance for the abnormal white blood cells

to knock you down at that time.

yes,acute leukaemia did knock my mama down.so i counted as a genetic carrier?i won't be knock down by it.to fight it off,depression please leave me alone.and thanks god that,i'm not alone in this world..i just love the live that YOU and mama gave to me;)))

.sound.

it started again..again..it sounds like this..wuuuuuuuuuuungggg..for a minutes..

.dream high.

Have finished watched this drama in 2days..what can i tell you?

it super duper inspired!!!yes,we have a dream.i want to grab mine too.

dream is not far,is in your hand.it is in our hand.

i'm doing it,i holding it,never let it go..

who you are

who you are?did you ask this question to yourself frequently?undeniable,I DID..uncountable..

it always been that i wanted to be like her or him.

i wanted to be pretty or cute like her.

i wanted to be rich like him or her.

i wanted to be smart like him or her.

i wanted to be tall like her or him.

i wanted to be a good swimmer like him or her.

i wanted to have a good voice like her or him.

i wanted to be everyone's good things.

BUT,heyy..

i'm sure that i am good for who i am now,you never know what they faces for their's good.

but i know what i am going to faces for what i have now,

because,it just GOOD.god created me this way,as how HE wanted.

.war.

i will try my best to win for whatever i think is right

but i will definitely lose in family war

whenever want to speak out the right for myself to my families

i'm the one who lose

tears drop involuntary

i hate it

i just can't control

try it as many times

tears drop as the times

i admit,the heart broken and the disappointment

u can't denied it,it just feel so strong

this means that,i really love them as my family

i love you,papa,[mama],kokos'and koko's lao po;)

.unusual.

stand up when u fall down

cry out when feel hurt

this is what all usual thing that we do

but did you thumbs up when others doing the great things?

.help.

too busybody to helping out?or heating up the situation?
so am i out of everything now?nooo,i think i won't..
i just know how human acts now,the bad side,i saw it.

.world.

why i wanted to go africa so badly?you will see it someday..but when the day have come,i might..
be prepare everything of mine..everything that you can think of..
i'm still wondering that,with my little effort,can i really change the world?
or else,i should be changing the world by changing your mind towards the world?
would you like to join me to africa and help the world?

.luck.

you are lucky enough to live on the world?
you are lucky enough to leave the world?
so,is all depends on you.two distinct mind,which lucky do you choose?

p.s:optimistic thinking always the best choice;))))

.temper.

fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine.
don't try to pissed me off..hmm..or i should say,don't try to blow me up..
if you did purposely,you will know that how big or huge is the problem that you will get in.
so step out from my temper.step into my peaceful world.

.silence.

silence meant...

.true.

i can't stop myself from listening his song-chris medina.his voice didn't attracted me,but his..personality..after seeing how he take care of his fiancee, you just wonder..will this type of guy exist in my life?if it do exist,will him be the one..thinking about all this,at the end,i will just screwed the fantasy by bringing myself to the reality,i don't need one to take care me.the insecurity of myself have take over the fantasy.it just need more time for myself.

.thanks.

thanks god for placing all of you into my life.
thanks god for those who really help me face my hardship.
thanks god for those who concerned always about how am i doing.
i truly felt it,Your blessings..all over me,no matter wherever am i..
thank you,daddy,for being mommy and daddy in my life,you becoming a great Dad!!
thank you,bro,for being a sister and brother in my life,you can be such a good sister for bringing me to shopping.
thank you,ning2,YOU,and your family,such a superstar in my life,leading my life back to track
thanks you,piggies noobies,you guys are awesome in your own way,i have been myself when i am with you all
thanks to my church,a church is build up by you and me,you guys rock my years by bringing the presence of god into my life
thanks teacher(a special teacher),you the only one who really know my condition,you are the one who really did ALWAYS care about my doing.i'm touched.i never have a teacher like you;))