.the end?the start?.

.pray.
is the way i am.i wanna be there to help helpless people.to cure them physically and let god cure them spiritually.i hope.i really hope i can do it.the dream is not just a dream.but someday.it will be mine story and not just a dream.mine own interesting story.i will hold own.hold tightly on you,my dream.do not to forget about the dream that i want to achieve.please,god.help on me.i know you will,but in a different way.

.hohoho.

.hehe.
merry Christmas guys.this is my 1st year that i felt i really having a Christmas season in my life.that is fun and joyful.singing Christmas's songs,greeting people,a warmly smile all the time,presents giving and present receiving.i was stunned by the power of Christmas that affect all of us-human.it will be how great if whole time is in a Christmas season.no worries but only laughing.but it was the strategic of god why he doing the way he does to us.he want us to realize about what devil can done to us and how he can save us then trust in him.anyway,hohoho to all of you.ya,is you.merry Christmas guys and may have a pleasant year.merry Christmas to you too mummy.love you always.not because you love me then i love you.but i was born to love you mum.

.weird.

.em.
is hurt.i hope is only unbalance of hormones and not something else.please god.just let me safely go through this year.please god.

.chu.

chu,don't cry.cheer up yourself please.i beg you.please.don't cry.

.tired.

.fu.
felt sooooooooo sad.don't know why.my heart is squeezing.

.farewell.

.fu.
i'm building up myself..since that day..but my mind just getting messy,messy and more messy.i'm cleaning up my mind with all negative minded.people,everyday everything changes.so as i..someday..but just remember,i love you guys so much..remember the days i love you guys..maybe my love will bacome fade..but please keep in mind that,i'am in love with you guys..every hours,minutes and seconds..that was the day..i entered the school that i have selected..wao,i'm a noobie that time..with spectacles and center cleave hair style..everyone was like,chinese dude..i was so sad that time..no friends yet..haha..but being there for 5 years..you guys have became my mental and physical friends..i meant for the mental is you guys calmdown and comfort my mental while physical is you guys have so much energy to play with me..so touch..everybody..here's my big big thank you...I LOVE YOU GUYS..xoxo

.yeah.

.ta-Da.
I'm back.haha.SPM is over.OVER liao..yeah...hahaha..just to announced that my handphone has been stolen during Spm.but my number still the same..so when you guys sms me,please put on your big big name..thanks guys..wanna go for beauty sleep first..love you guys..muaxXx..xoxo

.updating.

.tata.
is been an age that i didn't updating my blog.i have a lot things that i wanted to write.but when i'm in of the computer.all the things just.flashhh.disappear.our's war is getting closer and closer.kinda nervous.i don't know whether i prepared or not.but i'm still trying to prepare.i'm still praying.is a long time that i didn't see my mum.miss her so much.sometimes tears just rushing out of my eyes.when i think of it.i still can felt the pains that she suffered.one of the school day.teacher siti ask me a question that punch my heart hardly.it was true but i denied it.i forces the tears to stay in my eyes.ning was there.luckily she helped me.....what i have wrote???felts like..nonsense..bulldog's poo..love you guys.

.holiday.

ya,
all of us like holiday.ya,i meant love.but holiday made me..of course,lazy..laziness love me..but guys,HAPPY HOLIDAY and HAPPY RAYA..love you guyd..xoxo

.shake.

recently,my hand often shaking.cannot stand it.
hypochromia,anaemia or even parkinson?
suffering.

.17.

.em.
Sometimes i will said i'm only 17 years old when i wanted to run away from responsible
Sometimes i will said i'm already 17 years old when i wanted to do something.
so,i'm 17 years now.

the age where my craziness begin.
where my independent life had began.
where my life getting challenging as the time come.
God love us as He love me.

.blue.

..blue period..not emo-ing..just..never mind..GOD love all of us..

.willing.

.tu.
willing to go for a jog in the early morning.but no one accompany and bring me to do so.i do not need accompany if koko and dady let so.i willing to go watch UP also.who?who?who?who will accompany me.my ko ko?i don't think so.he's having a girlfriend now.i don't to be a bulb between them.same to my big ko ko also.always being a light bulb between two couples.haha.i just enough for that now.

.name.

my mama gave me the name,Elisa
my brothers gave me the name,Mui
my cousins gave me the name,Ting
my friends gave me the name,Chu
I gave myself a name,called Louis

I stand strong when wild wind blow on me
I stand up after i fall down
I wake up from my dream
I pray every night...

XOXO

.party.

.em.
ya.last Saturday,i have my party at elusion lounge,courtyard hotel,i borneo.is kind of fun when all of us gather up and dance all the night long.so we dance dance and dance.i met a guy also.but that not really important cause he kind of playboy.is dangerous when you friend with a guy like that althoght he is cute.haha.but..our party just hanging cause some of them wanted to go Barsu.so sakit hati..arghhhhhhh

.loving.

.i love beach.
.i love SUN.
.i love wind blow on my face.
.i love to walk.
.i love to swing.
.i love rain.
.i love SKY.
.i love water.
.i love my family and my friends.
of course,
.i love her.
.i like to eat.
.i like to say "HI".
.i like to spend time with my friends.

.show.

.wishes.

i wish i could have a trip to north pole and south pole.
before that,i wish i can become a paramedic or a doctor.just wish to help people who in pain.share happiness with them.
i wish i can be happy all the time.not only me but the whole world.
i wish there won't be any war in this planet.
i wish you guys are in a good condition.
i wish there will be someone like Michael Jackson who will try to "Heal the world"
i wish..my family will be back on my side.
Love you guys.

.talk.

someday on a Friday morning.i hate that day.when i said hate.i really meant it.i hate it.why they like to talk about the past.we not forget about the past if we are not talking about it.we just wanna let go.let go is pretty hard for us.is really hard.i promise myself not to think about it.not to cry.not to cry anymore.but i will remembered that for sure.on that day.they forcing us to remember what we really don't want to remember.that's cruel.i'm not the type who telling my story or talking about myself all the time.not even one time.sometimes when thay clap.they just wanted to give us support.if you don't understand us,don't dare to judge on us.

.friend.

.em.
i hate to be in a fake relationship(friend).that's so exhausting people.i'm not having that kind of problem.i don't want too.ya,i really have a lot of friend's problem.since i was kindergarden till now?i think now.maybe i'm the one who really did not manage well in my friendship?can i use the word manage?sometimes,i just felt tired for tolerate.maybe i'll just pissed off.but i know that not gonna be happen to me.i won't do that to my friends.they are there when i need them.i should always keep on mind about that.maybe i just think too much.maybe the way i treat them was not correct.even hurt them.so i got on pay back by that way too.forget about it.i think too much.

.myself.

.em.
myself?i have no idea what to write about myself.wait till find out who am i then i will continue this topic.

.new moon.

.lala.
haiz.i just knew that the NEW MOON will be coming out during the SPM.huhuhu.i was planned to watch like everyday in the cinema.well,you will be seing me at the cinema whole time.oh gosh.i miss TWILIGHT.i'll watch it tonight.haha..eh,no no no no..add math add math..

.my way.

.em.
life is exhausting,tiring...maybe interesting..well,i just lost my way in my life..i lost the one who am i..who am i was being..i lost my identity..i lost my characteristic,i don't even know my way to be..who can help me?if ago,there will be my mama..but now,i still don't know..maybe myself..can i help myself??human heart really can change so fast..i don't know why..ya..don't know..i cannot catch up all the step you guys left behind..but it's okay,i will never catch up what you guys did..because i will always love you guys..whatever you guys did to me,i will smile and don't even bother to it..smile all the days..kissy,kissy to
ning ning,steph,chel,shasha,amie,el,el,dondon,feichai,hubby,kimmy,jojo,and more and more..take care guys.

.mamamia.

.smile all the days.
.oh my GOD.
everybody becoming so emo.they are emo-ing.i'm not good in talking and comfort them.i use my heart to talk with you guys.because i really not good in expressing my feeling.i'lll not be so emo.i want my life happy and interesting.maybe i'll die on next seconds,minutes,hours,days,months or even years.i don't know.cheer up guys.ningning,i know ur papa was went back to indon already.pray for him.pray him is always healthy,happy and safe.don't be sad,your papa don't want to see that.you still having him as your papa.and me as your bestfriend(if you still want me lar).sha,don't be emo.everything will turn fine.try to think wider.narrow thinking will never help you,it will just let you in pain.everybody is hurt by the love ones,but there are someone will always love you.trust on GOD and loves him.Brand,come and take your guitar when you free.no,no,no..is when i free.haha..sorry brand,but your's guitar is really really so so so big.and.i learnt how to tune the guitar already.and also some codes and strumming.i just love it although it hurts my fingers.well,haiz.never mind.is not time to talk about it.i still love you guys.

.trip.

.hehe.

well,there's been 3 years that i never have a trip.just some problem bother of it.i have my trip to kundasang for three days two nights with my ko ko and his friends.that was so fun.i miss that time.the time full with happy and joy.no complication,no relationship(friends)problems.that's what i like.my ko ko friends,i meant my friends.stay with them was so fun.stay with very caring,mature and lovely people is so great.no emo,man.haha.well,they are the type of person no gossip,trust on whoever you are.they just so mature in thinking.i just try to be a person that try to look on my own weakness and not other people. i wish i could live in a village and not a town.

.EO.

.em-hem.
i having my camp youth start on 29th until 31st.that was totally fun.haha.well.that camp's name extra ordinary camp.well,i just done something that i thought i'll not do it forever to betray my own GOD.but i just think deeply and clearly.i live in world is to learn good things.i learning in the name of Jesus and also LAO MU.i'm not betraying my own religion.because i' m not doing something bad to my God.i open my heart and accept Jesus.HE is my father.HE asked me to forgive my father.i'll forgive him although it is very hard.is really hard.sometimes,when you did something bad,the sins do not come to you,but is your loves one.the very very important message in the camp is don't be hypocrite.don't be faked,man.what for you did all the bullshit nonsence things.and finally,i'll open my heart to all my friends,especially ning ning.i won't be so secretive any more.no more for that.i'll tell it when it is the time.well,honestly..me and ning.in the name of best friends.but we not really know each other.we didn't have a long chat.like never.i learned guitar also.that was so fun.i have my first prayer during the camp.i prayed to have my family back.i prayed my mama was back.i prayed that i need not to having a life like this.i just cried like hell that time.i just cannot let go.until now.but i know,that was Jesus accompany and tell me all the truth.and..there is ning..she always love me.i want to show my love toward her too.

.em.
well,well,well..ya,ya,ya..i'm updating my blog..haha..ya..updating..well,basically.i'm doing nothing in this week.nothing at all.well,some people ask me that:"do you have something to tell me?"ya,always.they always asked.actually,i have nothing to tell.really.i just learned how to let go.let go is the bested way to have a happy life.em.cannot denied that,i'm a human,human with some problems in my life.i cannot argue that are problems irritate my life.just i'm not the type who telling my problems to others.point of views help me to cheer up my life.i just look in a different way.the way that people seldom take it.i learned how to cheer up,how to stand up,how to fulfilled my life,how to work with them,how to socialize..just so many things in one times..that are the gifts that GOD and mama gave me..but i'm still learning..in the progress..never stop..as long as I'm see you guys are truly happy..emmm..well,another reason that why i don't want to my problem is.i have ever told a friend about my problem..but that person just like don't trust me.i'm not making a story.i never think something like that will happened on me..haha..

.mother's day.

i just forgot.HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY,MOTHERS.i just forgot about it.haha.i know i'm so bad.as soon my mum left me,i just forgot about it.i'm just felt awkward during the card-made class.i meant mother's day card.hay.i have made a card to my mum too.haha.i know teacher just realized about me.it's okay.i can take this.i still have my mum in my heart.she always be there.
honestly, i just wanna have a stable and normal life.just hoping my family and my friends especially my ning ning always happy and stay healthy.and...i just don't need any memories.
memories,when it loss.it just make me painful.i just need you guys to stay happy.don't fight anymore.just take it.

.humans.

.ha.
i just cannot do that.cannot.totally cannot.i just realized.my surrounding friend's friendship just cracking.you can figure out how bisa the human's mouth.really.human's mouth can let you in depression or even can make you die.just beware of that.i don't wanna be one of that.guys.really.your life is short.don't ever do something that betray your's nurani.

.experiment.

.ha.
i'm missing for a few days.i think.where i have been.ha.i just planning some thing.and experimental on it.ha.i just planned not to sleep.because as the usual me will be sleep like more than 10 hours.is true.i just don't know why i need that long nap.is like i never wake up from my sleep.after i woke up, i still felt sleepy and tired.ha.just wondering why."what did i do to myself?"."nothing."ya.NOTHING!!!gosh.my body system just made my laziness attack me.shu lar you lazy womb.and now.i'm fighting with it now.fighting with my body system.go against it's law.haha.wish me good luck.i'm on for 20 hours now.that's only 4 hours to sleep.i'm a human being also.i need to sleep,eat,pee,poop, and so on.

.blek.

.ha.
well.today.i cooked for myself.as usual.no appetite to have it.ha.i wanna have some ice cream.and some coke.i'm still thinking about the i.u day preparation.quite a lot need to prepare.guysy.let's make and do it together.jia you.

.super duper combos.

.ha.
well.as usual.this evening,i stood in front the mirror.my hand start "itching".ha.there are tons of pimples on my face.ha.damn hot this few days.ohya.continue.so i started to press my pimples.this is the most enjoying time for the day.ha.first,i start with the pimples on my left side(forehead).nothing coming out.just some plasma and blood.ha.then,i continue with the middle(forehead).i thought there will be nothing to coming out.cause the outer skin just dried out.but i still can felt that it is swell.so i pressed.
"put-put-PUT".wah.there were like triple combos.all the nanah stick on the mirror.quite a lot.that's FUN.BRAND.you should try this.i'm sure yours will be much more interesting than mine.haha

.lies.

.ha.
guys.here to remind you guys.don't ever believe what guys promised to you when you two in a relationship.that's totally just a lie.trust me.when you awake from the "promised".you will realize that the lie.is just so disgusting and ugly.but.luckily.i'm not really fall in love when in a relationship.i just soft-hearted to break up.that's the reason why my love can be so longer.is not because we love each other deeply.is just because i asleep in the "beautiful"lies.a lot of lies.when i woke up.is queit late actually.but.the happiest thing is.i woke up.i totally woke up from that kind of lies.but honestly.that kind of relationship will not be longer.cause.we cheat each other.from the start until the end.

.smile.

.ha.
a lovely.warmer.cutest.charming.happiest smiley face to all of you guys.
truly from my heart.

:)

.cheer up.

.tut.
what's going on this earth.problem comes and goes.it means it continuous to irritate us.guys,cheer up.ya,facing problem is part of our life.but,you can even don't bother it.is up to us.destiny.life.is in our hand.life is really short.cheer up guys.i don't even bother all the problems and went to swing.it's so peaceful there.really.

.up-up.

.em.
ya.i didn't go for a swing today.ha.i listen to my ningning.and there are no one home.so i stay.well.i also can felt something can happen on me.just ignore it.psychological problem.duh.seems like everyone dying.ya.really dying.maybe facing some family or love problem.don't wonder why.ha.people.cheer up.let's cheer up.life is really short.say what you want to say.do what you want to do.take an action before life is ending soon.

.living.

.lala.
that feeling is gone.felt so great.ha.well,i went to swing again today.ya.this time really alone.ha.but after 30 minutes i swung.someone calling.ya.that's my ko ko.haha.he asked me to go home immediately.wth.i just like stay at the playground like 30 minutes and you asked me to go home.ha.ya.i know you are worried about me.don't bother what aunt told you guys.i'll be okay anyway.maybe something will happen.i don't know.i don't even bother.i'll try to avoid that happen.i'll.ha.but just let me live happily.

.swingy-swing.

.ha.
i went to swing this few days.ha.don't felt like stay in home.stressing me out.i felt like going to walk at my residency.alone.wind blew my face.and.i just waiting someone to appear at beside my swing.

.the one.

.em.
i went to school like normal.but ningning knew i got something hide behind her.ya.there are something.but i just don't want to tell so.people even don't realize that i did really have hide something.but she's the only one who did really know me well.even i really good in hide my emotions and pretend normal.i play,eat,laugh,and talk like normal.then,i told ningning.just briefly.cause she knew i'll cry.i don't want to cry so.and i don't even hurting so.ha.ya.i fight with my dad last night.he's so unreasonable.well.i think that's all for now.

.bakat thingy.

.ha.
well.miracle happened on my school.i thought we could not made it.because of my bad luck.that can easily be spread to others.but.there the light.lead us.we won for the Bakat Interact Maktab Sabah 09'.ha.really.thanks to those band and dancing group.you guys are totally great and awesome.is worth that my credit be negative.ha.here to go.thanks to all interactors whom helped on the sales.and me.of course.sms-ing participants to ask them relax.always asked them to relax.cheer,cheer,cheer for them.i meant wild cheer.that can brings to ear drum damaged.ha.great job guys.thanks.

.luck.

.hu.
i'm in bad luck.bad things come over me.my life wasn't go smoothly.all the activities hang.because of me.i just wondering.is this a challenge?or karma happening on me?i just exhausted.with all the hard work i did.and at the end.i'm the one whom been blame and shoot.i'm passing through the hard path after my mama left me.i'm not giving up.if i giving up.please lead me.help me.

.duh.

.finally.
I turn up so.ha.kay.let me start with 5th April.I have a dinner with my cousin.they came from England.for vacation and take a look after us.ha.they are so lucky to have a dad like Uncle Stephen.trust me.he's totally a funny.kid-hearted.and kind-hearted man.ha.
then.after the dinner.me,my ko ko and my nephew went for a movie."unborned" was the movie we had watched.kinda scary.but the ending was just...mess up the movie.ha.
i just write what i did remembered for now.ya.my vice.p.Dam Dam have a fight with our 'Angel' mumy.i'll not given so much comment about that fight.i just don't want their relationship to get worse.i'll be the one who suffering.ha.
well.today.nothing much.but.i'll not smile toBrandie again.cause i realized that just made him felt so uncomfortable.that made me felt like i going to hell soon.duh.
Kinda miss my mama.wherever we ever like.stay,shop,have fun...etc..the last time.me with her.i never know that was the last.the last time we went for yamcha,last time she cooked for me eventhough she sicked,last time we having a conversation.the last time i stay beside her.i really miss her.she's the only one that made me felt love.i live in this world because of her. and now.i just found a reason to stay at 'here' so.because mama hoping for me to success.and i gonna repay all sacrifies from my mama.loving you so mama.always.xoxo

.smiley.

.ha.
smile can categorized as so many types.
lovely smile to my lovely ning ning.she always stay and support me.
senyuman bermuslihat to brand.ha.ya.i'm posting about you.
innocent smile to razdan.i really don't know anything.ha.
irritating smile to el el.you don't ever respect me.duh.

.true friend.

.em.
what you really mean by true friend?i just asked this questions toward someone.but seem like he was so confused with that.but it does not matter at all,brand.for me.all my friend is my true friend.don't bother you stay always or stay far from me.as long as they still remember me after an age even they didn't like contact or meet you.this.for me.is enough for my true friend.ha.people will always appreciate you if u did it the same way with them.this called respect each other.true friend cannot stay together forever(physically) but in mental.they can.tut.true friend can betray you for some reason.they can even hurt you deeply than your lover.don't argue with that.i have been through.ha.because i know.they did not meant it that way.they just lost their way.and i should lead them.and not abounded them.remember.friend for a second,friend forever.

.ATTENTION.

!!!!!!!TURN OFF YOURS LIGHT!!!!!

.sick day.

.Finally.
Bakat Interact over.yeah.over.this made me sick of it,sick of my school,sick of the school rules.the program not really goes smoothly.because of the weird principal approve some M exam to held at our school.so.our volume cannot be maximize.i'm very very sorry guys.like to audience.and to our participants.p.a system in our school sucks.really sucks.i'm so sorry guys.finally.congratulation to Tearless Character and Sciatic Crew.you guys done a great and awesome job althought in a worse situation.really.just don't ever listen what some teacher say to you guys.i'll go and see you guys for the representative thingy.okay.and for interactors.don't worry about all the complains.because as i'm still at here.i'll carry all the complains on myself.just don't worry.

.failure.

.ha.
this the first and will be the last time for me to failed p.moral.haha.
what the heck.ya.i failed my moral for the first and last.just wait for my revenge.he.i'm so a unmoral person.that's not a big deal.everyone will fail their exam.i think so.haha.so wait for me.i'll be at there.for those flying colors results.GOD bless me and you.

.stuffie day.

.duh.
is 0125a.m now.i just came back from cinema.i have watched "hotel for dogs".ha.kinda funny and cute.i'm still not going to bed yet course i'm still not update my latest new.ha.let me recall what i have done today.em.em.em.em.be patient.i'm still don't remember.em.em.em.em.oh ya.i went to city mall this afternoon.cut my fringe and my ko ko.haha.u better ask him by yourself.then.i went to popular.i have bought some effective practice books.quiet a lot.while waiting my ko ko finish he cut.i went to vedablu.ya.alone.that's the way i always been.ha.i bought a scope of cream and cookies.quiet yummy.haha.i sat down there and take a rest.enjoying the situation at there.comfortable and relaxing.well.that's all that i remember now.my brain started tired now.ha.so.good night guys.xoxo

.reason.

.ha.
reason stand for saving my life from death.
i need reason to live on this world and not survive.survive is you keep on working hard to stay alive.but.i'm not.i'm totally not that type person for now as for sure.ha.i sneezed just now.like usual.but there are something interesting.my nose was bleeding.the blood just smelled like rusting iron.ha.maybe what they said is totally not incorrect.i'm so hot.not "hot" but the chinese people said the heat that stay in the human body.i drank a lot of water.but that is not working.my big illeum just don't absorb it.and now.pimples got worse.people.i'm not stressing out.my pimples stressing out with me.

.pretending.

.em.
felt so empty today.my heart is squeeze .i trying to cheering up myself.
i knew many things happened in an blink of eye.ha.
i have tried very hard to stand up and pretend nothing had just happened.
ya.i succeed.what i got is.painful in my mind.really.i just don't want anybody worry about me.and also my mama.there's a lot of happy time with my mom.
but that is past.just a memories now.ha.what a silly me.
trying to go back to the past.
by the way.i'll not talk about my feelings in front of people.because my tears is rushing out.i just need more time.
maybe so.

.promise.

.tata.
is 0225a.m now.i still can't sleep.something going wrong with my body.yet.
i'm still reading onemanga.ha.
i think i'll going to see my mama with panda eyes tomorrow.ha.mama.
i'm sorry.cause i'm not studying but reading some unuseful comic.
after this holiday.i promise i'll study.as i can do so.ha

.continue.

.ah.
my legs were so cold.and my hand is shaking.but here to say to you guys.
i love you,guys.i love you ning,like my husband and lesbo
i love you nu,like my sister and ever.ha.
em.i'll be continue writing.my hand is shaking.right now.

.is that necessary.

.he.
have a drink with my ko ko just now at yoyo.ha.we talked a lot.i think.
i don't remembered much.stuck brain.i used up like 19 hours to finish my add math homework.is so damn slowed.ha.well.i just took an action yesterday.
but seems like someone don't want to reply me so.ha.just something.
my mama's figures is floating in my heart and brain today.
mama,i really do miss you.xoxo.

.sweat.

.fu.
having a sweaty day today.i went for jogged today.made me so breathless.ha.
my bro brought me to.he saw me just having a sick day in house and don't even study.but at first,they goes for basketball.
erghh.i suck at it.so,i went for a swing.ha.
a cute kid beside me.he have no teeth.em.i just thinking.did i need to take any action to keep a friend that even no any conversation for four years?yeah.i'll take it so.

.wondering.

ok.
my flu haven't heal yet.fu.suffering now.no wonder why.flu loves me especially.
can't sleep.wanna do my homework.but my brain does not working.
willing to find a friend and talk.but ningning not here.never mind.
just keep it in my deeper heart.ha

.choo.

.em.
today.my flu getting heal.but there are something worse.fever.ha.
this afternoon heavy rain droplets dropped on my head.ha.
we ran from asia city to center point.so cold man.is so fun today.
but my leg was hurt.because of olin.i will not blame at you.
as you know i can't do that.haha.just something.i felt regret towards someone.
the regret will never end if someone don't received my apologize.
here to say "sorry".
i need to talk with ning before i post my unmature behaviour.

.drugs.

.ha.
i finally ate drugs.i meant paracetamol.what a terrible day.
i used rolled of toilet tissue for my mucus.terrible.i sneezed a lot.
made me felt like i'm a pipe.the mucus flowed non stop from my nose.
is like flood.ha.feeling so tired but can't have a good sleep.made my fever going so worse.i really hope my body allow me going movie tomorrow.
i don't bother.that's my date with my peeps.ha

.fu.

em.
everything seems normal today.as i having my flu now.
i haven't started my homework yet.felt so dizzy.
many things have to be done by this week.i'm not rushing myself.
i just wanna relax and enjoy my life if i stay still at this world.ha

.weather.

wee.
today.cloudy day.again.but i love it.the wind blew on my face.
so comfortable.everything seem so fresh after raining.ha.except me.
i'm kind of bored.ha.what can i do is.
watched,stared,and looked at the sky.
just bluish sky only.it seem to be relaxing when looking at it.it is so blue.
never forget the creature of GOD.

.hate to be pain.

ha.
what a painful night i had yesterday.my left brain was like sucking out.ha.
never stop until i went to sleep.i reject to having paracetamol because it will take me 3 months to detoxification the toxic.ha.i distracted when i watching "race to the witch mountain" with my ko ko.i'm so annoyed about the pain.
thanks god.it disappear right now.ha

.7th.

ha.
this is the 7th times i watched twilight.addicted to it.it filled my empty spaces.
no appetite now.no feeling want to eat.i have lost 2kg.
headache always disturbing me.what a empty heart inside me.ha.
i love twilight!!!!!!!!!!

.true love.

ha.
that never happened on me.included the one i have been through.no guys will act or protective like Edward Cullen toward his lover.
but certain guys will.until my life end up.i will never meet them.i have no this kind of luck.
ha."it doesn't matter for me".that's just a lie.can my friends be my true love???i love them.i'm the one who cannot conceive my love toward them.but you guys really mean it to me.

***blinky mind***

ha.
my mind cannot be control right now.something disturbing me.brain nerves cannot be connected each other.so sad man.i'm acting like a robot now.
no feeling,no thinking,no life.ha.my life would not be ended like this.but one thing.i hate my pimples.
PIMPLES LOVE ME SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

.guy/men always made mistake.

.wth.
with all guys.i meant married men.they never listen and appreciate what the wife do for them.ha.what can i say is what a stp men....my aunt ever told me that,married men act like that just because "black magic"...i am very confuse with that respond.ha.but one thing..i want you to know,nu,we can live without papa.i've been those life for 3 years.now,i've lost my mama gain.what can i say is,my life seem doesn't perfect for others.but my life is terrific,posh,superd,and stunning for me.

because i have you guys,my friends.
ning.step.chel.nu.kim.hubby.el.don.dan.

.to mum's letter.

.mama.

is happy to have a chance write a letter for you.ya,i very regret that i never say"ily"to you.because i shame,maybe.what a lousy daughter,right?i know you always beside me,i know,i felt it,mum.you the ever greatest mama.really!!!!!i really love you mum.is true.I love you,mum.